The misconception of a happy marriage
We are living in an age where persons expect too much from marriage. That is one of the reasons why marriages don’t last long anymore. Or if they do, some of them end up sustaining their marriage but they’re just not in a happy marriage. To even further extend on that point, that’s even one of the reasons why this new generation couples are not even pushing to get married.
When we think about marriage we usually think about love and happiness. Usually if both the partners are not feeling that, they end having a dysfunctional marriage. Marriage is very complex and if both partners are expecting to feel loved and happy all the time. They are going to be in for a surprise and until they sort that out because it’s not going to end pretty.
One of my lifelong friends, who I have known since high school. Her name is Marissa, she is one of the nicest and soft spoken persons I have ever met. The other day I got a surprise call from her, telling me that she was filing for divorce. That really hurt me. I never expected that at all. So I called her over to my house a week after to talk about the situation.
When we finally met, she told me that she was having love problems in her relationship. Her husband weren’t paying much attention to her and he never quite looked happy either. So they both made the decision to part ties (luckily they never had any kids). They lasted for only 2 years which can be a long time in marriage life.
Now this is a lesson for future husbands and wives out there who are reading this. Certain parents usually raise their kids a certain way and tell them in order to be truly happy in life. You have to find a great partner and get married. When they do that it allow the children now to look at marriage as one of those solutions to get ultimate happiness in life. As a female I am not married yet. But that’s how I was raised as well and many of my other friends. My mom usually told me about marriage and happiness and how a relationship should be.
Overtime I learn that a relationship is not just about love or even happiness. A relationship is really complex. As species who behave irrationally on a daily basis it can be a roller coaster ride. But the good thing is that, it’s not a bad thing. Even in any form of relationship, we always expect both the partners to be happy and working in harmony.
The truth is it doesn’t usually work out like that. Relationships can be very complex and hard to deal with sometimes but that’s what makes it interesting. Being able to cope with the highs and the lows can help you create a successful marriage. No one isn’t perfect so don’t expect your partner to be. Embrace their flaws and try to find ways to live with it. Because at the end of the day, he or she is your partner and you are going to go to bed each night with him/her and wake up looking in the face of him/her.
You have to find ways to live with your partner. Of course you have a lot of marriages that deserve to be broken up due to abuse, poor structure etc. But those are the exceptions. On the other hand though you have a lot of marriages that could’ve been saved if the two partners did embrace the complexities and the tough moments that comes with marriage.
If you don’t expect it from the start or try not to expect it and just wish for the best that nothing will happen. You are going to set yourself up for failure because when the hard times come. There was no preparation at first and your marriage will be more vulnerable to failure.
Marriages are not like those happy marriages that you see in movies or Cinderella cartoons. So don’t expect your marriage to be like that. You do have those marriages but they are very rare. When you can handle the ups and downs that usually comes with relationships. You will have a better chance of sustaining your marriage over the long term.
Thank you for reading and feel free to comment and share your thoughts to the community below. 🙂
Written by: sally