9 tips on how to avoid communication problems in marriage
communication problems in marriage
As I have posted before about the complexities that often comes with relationships. Both partners should embrace the complexities that comes with being in a marriage or relationships in general. That’s just a part of life and what makes a relationship interesting.
A problem that always pops up during marriage while trying to live in complex relationships is the lack of communication skill between the two partners. As a person who have act as a therapist to my married friends. Communication is one of the main problems they usually face.
Just the other day one of my friends by the name of jack called me late in the night telling me that he can’t stand his wife anymore. He also states that she’s always blaming him for some simple little stuff. That shouldn’t even have caused an argument in the first place. I have been through that before with some of my boyfriends of the past. I remember an incident when I was dating this guy. We went out on a Saturday to the park.
It was late in the evening, we were there talking and laughing. Then one of my male friends passed by and called to me. My boyfriend at the time and get up off the bench and yelled at me. Asking me how come I never told him about my friend and asking me how did I know him. Long story short we went back and forth for around 5 minutes and that’s the last time we ever talked. That’s just how it goes, stupid little things can cause breakup sometime.
Over the years I have gathered 9 advices I often tell my friends who are having communication problems in their relationship. I hope these can help you to learn how to communicate better with your spouse and improve communication problems in marriage.
Talk about your feelings and why you’re hurt
It’s easy to get carried away and enforce anger against your spouse. We all know what’s going to happen after that. The two of them are going to go back and forth, like the guy and I did. This will further cause the relationship to deteriorate. What you must do instead is to embrace and talk about your hurt feelings. Let your partner know exactly what he or she did to hurt you.
This will help to get to the root of the situation quicker than the method of enforcing rage. If my boyfriend did told me at the park that he was hurt by the way the guy called to me. I would’ve understood why he was behaving like that. But I still would’ve dumped him probably in a much respectable manner.
Listen even when your partner is talking non-sense
Every partner should learn to listen and respect the other partner’s opinion. Even if what they are saying sometimes can be total non-sense. For example suppose you and your partner is arguing or having a conversation which gets a bit heated. Always try to give as much respect as possible to their opinion.
To also show that you’re listening, you can ask your spouse questions about what they’ve just said. You could also give statements relating to what they’ve just stated. So you could use statements like, “could you elaborate more please”. “I really understand your point and I kind of agree with you”. “I never really understood your last sentence could you please repeat”.
Statements and questions like these will surely make your partner know that you understand their situation.
Try not to yell
Please try to not to raise your voice to make it seem like you’re yelling. It’s really disrespectful and it will make your partner feel really uncomfortable. You don’t want to make it look like you’re too dominant, especially in conversations. I have seen conversations where it seems like they’re arguing with each other but in reality. The husband is just raising his voice, sounding like he is around a beer table talking to his friends.
Ease up on the criticism
Yes I know it’s easier to criticize your partner. I tend to do it a lot at times but it’s not healthy to just constantly criticize your partner. Instead try to embrace certain characteristics that you don’t like because no one is perfect. Or try to make your criticism as polite as possible.
Just agree already
Sometimes when the two of you are arguing and the other partner is not giving up. It’s better to just agree to their point and move on. Arguing continuously is very toxic and it’s better at times to just accept their opinions and get on with your relationship. And besides it’s not going to be the end of the world. If you are having problem in your marriage you can try this out.
Never embarrass your partner in public
As I have written up top on this post about my story. You can see that the end result of him shouting at me in public wasn’t good. I hope you don’t try that with your partner because I have seen it happen countless of times. Even in a restaurant and it wasn’t cool at all.
Ask for a demand politely
In a relationship none of the partners don’t want to feel like they’re being bossed around. It’s important to be careful how you tell your partner to do something. For example suppose you said, “Hey go and clean the bathroom”. That sound like you’re giving them too much of a demand. Instead you can tell them that they must do something and give more meaning behind it.
For example, “Hello sweetie could you go and clean the bathroom. It’s been a while now; probably I will even come and help you because I know you might need it”.
Also don’t try to overwhelm your partner with a lot of request. For example, “sweep out the kitchen, oh and don’t forget to go and pick up our son today. Plus get some groceries at the supermarket.”
Don’t try to act like a psychoanalysts
Never try to tell your spouse you understand why he or she just did that. Especially if you guys are arguing. This will stir things up real bad. It’s even one of the main communication problems in marriage. For example suppose your spouse walks in late from work. Then you said, “I know why you always come in after 9 p.m. and not 7 since last week. And it’s simply because you are cheating or you don’t want to come home”. This is also a very bad behavior, that even I often get caught up into it couple times.
Don’t drag other persons in the argument
Try your best to not drag other persons who have nothing to do with your argument into it. The argument is between the two of you alone and what happens should stay between the two of you. For example suppose the two of you are having an argument and you said, “No wonder Glenn think you’re rude, I can see the reason now”. Statements like these can get them really angry.
This was a quite lengthy post. But I am really passionate about helping out others and I hope you find this valuable. If you are in a very bad marriage right now or your marriage isn’t bad but you would like it to improve. You can have a look at this program.
Thank you for reading and feel free to comment and share your thoughts to the community below. 🙂
Written by : sally